Whats the funniest thing you ever heard a tuner say?

[98dsm]

Ok I want to know what is the funniest thing a tuner has ever said to you or what you have heard. This is something a guy asked on the dsm forums:

"Hi all, I recently purchased a 91 talon with the turbo. When I drove it, I could never feel the turbo give any power and the guy said it just needed some more boost fluid. He told me to look at the guage, and when I gave it some gas, it never reached boost and he said that meant it was empty. He didn't want too much for it and it was a 5 spd (what I wanted) so I bought the car for $2300 and got it home. Well the next day I looked around forever, but could not tell where I need to fill back up the boost. I saw some lines going into the turbo, so I am pretty sure that is where it needs to go.
The only problem now is that I cannot seem to find any of the fluid at my local auto parts stores. Most of them have never heard of anything like it and one other place said they no longer carried it. Is this something I have to get at the dealer?


Anyways, if you can help please reply, I can't wait to start using the turbo again."

[SteamHammer]

lmfao, what forums was this?

[98dsm]

It has been up for a long time on dsmtuners.com but ppl always bring it back up and post it. I thought it was funny because he was really serious.

[98dsm]

Here is the link. You should be able to see the whole conversation.
http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/newbie-forum/5556-where-can-i-buy-more-boost-fluid.html

[BlazinAzian]

There is no such thing. A turbo doesn't use fluid. It spools up using the gas from the exhaust. If the boost guage isn't "working" then it is probably for one of 2 reasons. The guage is not working, or there is no turbo. My advice, find the guy that sold you the car and kick him right in the nuts, as hard as you can for being an idiot.

LOL!!!! my favorite answer. :pound:

[carguy07]

I can't think of the funniest thing off hand, but people who think an Intake will add 20 whp are usually the best ones to talk too. They usually think their car is a beast at the drag strip too.

"Yah my car came with 120 hp from the factory, so after an intake and exhaust I should be at 150 hp. That should make me a 14 second car."

[BlazinAzian]

I got one word "BoostTech."

[carguy07]

I got one word "BoostTech."

Hey now Jason Park was a pioneer. And he wasn't really being serious, which made it more funny. We were laughing with him most of the time.

[Discontained]

on my audi forums..

"when i accelerate I hear a high pitched whine coming from the engine area... Is something wrong with my car? Its a 1.8T"

HAHAHA that would be your turbo ..


Also, in town there used to be a guy who put JUST nitrous on his car and said he walks bikes, mustangs, and 300zxTT all day.. it was a geo storm.. LMAO

:first:

[Filthy Dub]

Omg, I just laughed so bad at that Mike. Lemme get some from VWVortex, theres a lot. :D

[The Legend]

Let's see.

On a bike forum this guy had gone and bought some fuel additive for his bike. He said it was the NOS additive and that it looked just like a little nitrous bottle. He then poured it in his tank and left. On the way home it started sputtering really bad and wouldn't crank back up once he got home and he couldn't figure it out. Hmmmmm.......

Guy a Britt David told me and Jason Ball that his stock turbo eclipse ran like 11's or something faster at like 180ish mph.

I wish I could remember all the times I've left somewhere where some guys have been talkin to me and me and the wife get in the car and she says " That guy had no idea what he was talking about did he?" I say "nope!!" and laugh my ass all the way home.

[98dsm]

Let's see.

On a bike forum this guy had gone and bought some fuel additive for his bike. He said it was the NOS additive and that it looked just like a little nitrous bottle. He then poured it in his tank and left. On the way home it started sputtering really bad and wouldn't crank back up once he got home and he couldn't figure it out. Hmmmmm.......

Guy a Britt David told me and Jason Ball that his stock turbo eclipse ran like 11's or something faster at like 180ish mph.

I wish I could remember all the times I've left somewhere where some guys have been talkin to me and me and the wife get in the car and she says " That guy had no idea what he was talking about did he?" I say "nope!!" and laugh my ass all the way home.

That eclipse guy sounds like james. lol

[SecondLetter]

i remember when a guy in his 4 doh civic said his vtec was low on vtec fluid.
i told him to check his blinker fluid too, just in case

[The Legend]

Lol at James. He's got the fastest everything. He's still cool though.

Someone else said they were gonna twin turbo their H22 and get 1000hp out of it.

I popped my hood on my old hatch and the guy said "you see all those wires?" "I have twice as many". Ummmm ok

Ray told me that he was gonna put a type-r tag on the front of his car. And then I told him they don't make a type-r 92-95 civic. Doh!

This other guy told me he had a JDM H22 in his accord that he just had towed to work so after he left I went and pull his hood latch cable(there was no front bumper) and not to my suprise there was a stock f23 with and intake on there.

[carguy07]

Guy a Britt David told me and Jason Ball that his stock turbo eclipse ran like 11's or something faster at like 180ish mph.

I'm pretty sure I was there that night.

I do remember this guy that was into trucks was talking about his exhaust (back in high school). He asked me about my exhaust and I was like, "It's louder but it complements the sound of my engine pretty well." He was like: "That's retarded, why would you want to hear the engine too?" I'm sure everyone here has heard trucks like that. . . :eek:


Lol at James. He's got the fastest everything. He's still cool though.

James is like J Park. They just like having fun, and don't mind bending the truth for a laugh.

[98dsm]

James my boy but he knows not to feed me the bs anymore. I call him out on it everytime but occasionally he tries to feed me so crazy story but when I keep questioning him he gets quiet. That's my homie tho.

A guy asked me why do I have small rims on my car. I told him I didn't want 18 cuz they might be to heavy and it hard finding a rim for my car that I can lower and not scrub so I stick with 17 and 16. Then I was like plus I can spin these faster. He tells me I'm dumb becuz I should get 20 because they will cover more ground before than my 16 or 17. I was like so u saying that becuz my 16 will make one rotation b4 ur 20 that ur 20 will make my car faster because it has more radius. He's like yeah and I walk off.

A guy on a dsm forum also said that this kid was like I got a w rated tire on the left and a y rated tire on the right so the guy was like ok. Then the kid goes on and tells him that he has them that way because one side spins faster than the other so he needed a higher rated tire.

[Filthy Dub]

Omg, this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen...Just read through it, I read through all 17 pages. This is what happens to new people who are stupid on the Mk 4 forums. It happens pretty much everytime unless they're cars decent and they're not dumb.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4646498&page=1

[SecondLetter]

this isnt car related but i was in Publix getting a sandwich, and some guy next to me was getting one before i got there, so i get there like " yeah, let me get a Cuban"..other guy was like" ooh a cuban, i bet there not asuthenic" ...ok first off, this is Publix, a white lady is making my sandwich, yeah im pretty sure its not authenic, but it taste good...so then he goes on to tell and the sandwich lady how authenic cubans are made and says this..... " if you want a real authenic Cuban, you should go to south florida"....i pause and say " if i wanted a real authenic Cuban, shouldnt i go to Cuba ...." he stood there quiet, got his sandwich and left

[carguy07]

this isnt car related but i was in Publix getting a sandwich, and some guy next to me was getting one before i got there, so i get there like " yeah, let me get a Cuban"..other guy was like" ooh a cuban, i bet there not asuthenic" ...ok first off, this is Publix, a white lady is making my sandwich, yeah im pretty sure its not authenic, but it taste good...so then he goes on to tell and the sandwich lady how authenic cubans are made and says this..... " if you want a real authenic Cuban, you should go to south florida"....i pause and say " if i wanted a real authenic Cuban, shouldnt i go to Cuba ...." he stood there quiet, got his sandwich and left

Quoted for epicness. This was worth derailing.

[Discontained]

this isnt car related but i was in Publix getting a sandwich, and some guy next to me was getting one before i got there, so i get there like " yeah, let me get a Cuban"..other guy was like" ooh a cuban, i bet there not asuthenic" ...ok first off, this is Publix, a white lady is making my sandwich, yeah im pretty sure its not authenic, but it taste good...so then he goes on to tell and the sandwich lady how authenic cubans are made and says this..... " if you want a real authenic Cuban, you should go to south florida"....i pause and say " if i wanted a real authenic Cuban, shouldnt i go to Cuba ...." he stood there quiet, got his sandwich and left

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! thats hillarious! :rofl:

[BlazinAzian]

Guy a Britt David told me and Jason Ball that his stock turbo eclipse ran like 11's or something faster at like 180ish mph.

I remember that.


Lol at James. He's got the fastest everything. He's still cool though.

Someone else said they were gonna twin turbo their H22 and get 1000hp out of it.

I popped my hood on my old hatch and the guy said "you see all those wires?" "I have twice as many". Ummmm ok

Ray told me that he was gonna put a type-r tag on the front of his car. And then I told him they don't make a type-r 92-95 civic. Doh!

This other guy told me he had a JDM H22 in his accord that he just had towed to work so after he left I went and pull his hood latch cable(there was no front bumper) and not to my suprise there was a stock f23 with and intake on there.

I love the stupidity...:rofl:



James is like J Park. They just like having fun, and don't mind bending the truth for a laugh.

BOOSTTECH!!!!!!!


Omg, this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen...Just read through it, I read through all 17 pages. This is what happens to new people who are stupid on the Mk 4 forums. It happens pretty much everytime unless they're cars decent and they're not dumb.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4646498&page=1

That was pretty funny. I didn't read all 17 pages. I just wasn't that committed.

[Filthy Dub]

Lol, I mean, ya they are assholes, but thats how it is on Vortex, you just get used to it I guess :p

[Filthy Dub]

Wow...Idk even know what to say...I feel so sorry for that car though, I guess this goes in this thread lol...

just...just read what this man did... http://www.audiforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80267#693578

[carguy07]

Wow...Idk even know what to say...I feel so sorry for that car though, I guess this goes in this thread lol...

just...just read what this man did... http://www.audiforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80267#693578

that's not real. people try to pull that kind of stuff just to get their name over the internet.

[BlazinAzian]

I don't care I laughed till I cried.

[Filthy Dub]

Ya it was a joke, but it was still hilarious lol...

[dubnakd]

Omg, this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen...Just read through it, I read through all 17 pages. This is what happens to new people who are stupid on the Mk 4 forums. It happens pretty much everytime unless they're cars decent and they're not dumb.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4646498&page=1

quite possibly the best novel i have ever read... im on chapter 13 so far.. hehe

[Filthy Dub]

lol, I loved finding that, I read it all :lol:

[Discontained]

any pic of this jetta girl?

edit i found them ;( GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[dubnakd]

any pic of this jetta girl? She sounds ghetto as hell

yea they reposted her pics, like page 3,4, or 5 i think

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4733294

another good one!

[Discontained]

in the event of epic ownages

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=313387

[Filthy Dub]

Yes, read on, they post pictures of her friends too... :lol: